This is Katherine “Kat” Brown (44), she’s from Ipswich, always wanted to be on the stage, in musicals of course. Seems nice enough, bit happy-clappy sometimes, to be honest. She works in human resources for a small accountancy firm in the centre of town. She’s been there since junior partner Gareth Harvey persuaded the senior to take her on before jumping ship in 2016. That was just after the Brexit vote. He started his own business in his hometown of Haslington in Cheshire.
Martyn’s of Ipswich only has three staff other than Katherine, the senior (and only) partner, Tobin Martyn, Emily the cleaner/receptionist, and an unpaid intern who was filling in for the summer while doing a science degree at the University of Suffolk. That’s now on-hold because of the coronavirus and third year will be mostly online for the same fee, obviously.
Martyn’s of Ipswich never did need an HR department and Katherine is currently furloughed. She’s a single mother to Luke although he lives with his accountant Dad, Gareth, near Crewe.
When Gareth moved back to his Mum Cilla’s in Haslington with Luke, Katherine joined a community choir – Village Voice. She sat down in the soprano section and introduced herself as Kat. She was quickly moved to the “alto twos”. She also got a tiny tattoo of a sheep on her left ankle at “Inkredible Tattoos” near the Maharani Indian on the Norwich Road.
She’s definitely “yet-another-alto”, although incredibly she failed the audition for the Burlington church choir despite their having no altos at the time. She can sightread music a bit but is to all intents and purposes tone-deaf. She always chases the soprano part. Oddly enough, Katherine is quite glad all the pubs have had to close now. She had a bit of a reputation as a teen and probably drank too much cider and black and smoked too many rollies, did a bit of weeeed, which she occasionally alludes to with a girly giggle. After Gareth left she had a bit of a run-in with the landlady of “The Goblet and Turkey” during the Village Voice Christmas bash. There were two few chairs in the restaurant area and things got a bit raucous when Kat reached decadently for the descant part in “Hark! The Herald”.
Anyways She had been sober since 13th May 2015 the day she met Gareth. He persuaded her to join him and his very good friend Jesus on Sundays and to jump into his bed without his friend on Fridays.
To paraphrase The Arctic Monkeys, she used to get it in her fishnets now she doesn’t even get it in her nightdress. Poor lass. Bulmer’s Original (2 litre) and reduced-sugar Ribena are permanently inked on to her Lidl shopping list.
—*—
“Hurry up, will you, Luke? Your Dad’s waiting and you know what he gets like when we keep him waiting”
“Yes, Gran, I’m coming”
The bus was late. It always was. That nonsense about them coming in threes…you’d be lucky if it came on time every third Tuesday…now where’s my pass. Clear head Cilla, clear head, you definitely picked it up with the keys and put it in your handbag. You did. Definitely. Ah, no, there is it in my coat pocket…with the keys…so where’s my handbag? Ron would never have let me leave the house without it, although it’s contents were beyond a mystery to him, oh Ron…
“Luke, come on!”
—*—
Gareth couldn’t have cared less whether his mother was late bringing Luke in fact the later the better. He was ever so slightly distracted and deep in a discussion about the second coming, oh God, the second coming…of Jesus Christ our Risen Lord, Hallelujah, Amen, with Michelle, Avon Lady who, this week had a special offer on rosy red lipstick and fishnets…
It’s probably no coincidence that Michelle looks like a younger, blonde version of Katherine. Talk about trading in for a new model…
NB This is fiction, any resemblance to real people or events is coincidental.